Just Wait ’til Next Week


Ant Man, Gold Digger, Pow Pow, and Rump Roast joined YHC in the gloom. Attendance was piss poor, but we had a good time once we all found each other. Rest of y’all wait till next Saturday.

SSH x20
IST x20
Cotton Pickers x10

Tha Thang:
One partner does burpees while other partner backwards runs up two levels of garage until they’ve done 100 burpees combined.

10 Burpees. Jog one ramp. Bear Crawl one ramp.
10 Burpees, 25 Merkins. Jog. Bear Crawl.
10 Burpees, 25 Merkins, 50 Lunges. Jog. Bear Crawl
10 Burpees, 25 Merkins, 50 Lunges, 100 LBCs. Jog. Bear Crawl
10 Burpees, 25 Merkins, 50 Lunges, 100 LBCs, 150 Squats.

Alabama prom dates x20
WWII SUs x15
Freddie Mercury x20
Rugby SUs x10
Flutters x20

YHC rolled up to an empty parking lot at 6:58. Gold Digger followed in soon after. After a brief discussion, we agreed to go to Bubba’s in lieu of a workout given the circumstances. Ant Man rolled in in Ant Man fashion, and he was on board with the plan leading us to stand in the rain for a second, grab a picture, and mosey off. Ant Man made the point of checking the parking garage for PAX who went there instead and lo and behold we found Pow Pow and Rump Roast. (always wait by the original AO unless otherwise instructed by the Q).

We ultimately got started a little late, but everyone drudged through the burpee heavy workout. Not too much mumblechatter during the workout itself, but we had 100% attendance at Bubba’s afterwards.

Baby Ant Man is doing well. Rump Roast made a comment that the first couple weeks of parenthood give you a false sense of security, which instilled some fear in Ant Man.

Pow Pow informed YHC that EY’s paternity leave policy is 6 months now, so watch out ladies…I’m looking for that PTO. We also raised the question as to how many months you’d get if you impregnated two separate women at the same time.

3-22 Arm Beatdown




PAX: Schnitzle, Alright Alright, Sex Panther, Ice Box, Rump Roast, My Space, Ant Man,

QIC: Thunderlips

AO: Caruth Park




Arm Circles x 1 Min OYO

SSH x 30 IC

Merkins x 20 IC

Seal Jacks x 20 IC

Wide Grip Merkins x 10 IC

Mosey to playground soft top


64 Burpees 20x(3)+4 on last set

32 dips & 32 merkins

MoSey  to field

16 jump squats

8 flying merkins

Final Four

Bear Crawl to stations

1. 20 merkins

2. 10 burpees

3. 20 jump squats

4. 20 lunges ea side

3 Gassers length of soccer field


Flutters 10 IC x 3

Dolly 10 IC x 3

Rosalita 10 IC x 3

LBS’s x 10 IC x 7 IC x 5 IC x 3 IC


Circle up to pray.


There was some march madness mumble chatter.

QIC disclosed he hates running long distances so rarely will he ever Q a running intense session.

QIC was admonished for concluding 1 min early.

Drawing a blank on anything else that was discussed…


1. Next week F3 focusing on Mental Health and Depression…

2. Saturday Morning – 3-23 Q @ 0700 Burleson Park – QIC – IceBox

Masters Saturday Beat Down

PAX: Rump Roast, Antman, Coach K, Pow Pow, Rocketman, Baby Ruth (FNG), Sex Panther, Thunderlips, Cabanaboy
QIC: Oatmeal (YHC), AlrightAlright

AO: Burleson Park (Parking garage)

Skipped due to workout

YHC and Alright devised A Workout Unlike Any Other in the spirit of the Masters Tournament assigning an exercise to each hole of Augusta National.  With partners, the goal was to complete each exercise x hole yardage in three minutes.  As the timer expired score was taken for each “hole”.  To achieve reps x yardage on each hole resulted in a birdie. A score of par was recorded as noted below.  Anything less was considered a bogey.  No sand traps, water hazards or penalty shots!  Holes were as follows:

Tea Olive 445 reps (yards) –  SSH – Par 300

Pink Dogwood 400 reps – IST – Par 400

Flowering Peach 350 reps – Flutter Kicks – Par 300
Flowering Crab Apple: 240 reps – Crab Cakes – Par 200
Magnolia: 495 reps – Monkey Humpers – Par 300
Juniper 180 reps – Jumping Spiders – Par 180
Pampas 450 reps – Plank Jacks – Par 300
Yellow Jasmine 570 reps – Squats – Par 400
Carolina Cherry 460 reps – Carolina Dry Docks – Par 300
Camelia 495 reps – Calf Raises – Par 300
White Dogwood 505 reps – WWI SitUps – Par 300
Golden Bell: 155 reps – Burpees – Par 155
Azalea 510 reps – Alabama Prom Dates Par 400
Chinese Fir 440 reps – Seal Jacks – Par 300
Firethorn 530 reps – Overhead Claps – Par 400
Redbud 170 reps – Groiners – Par 170
Nandina 440 reps – Mountain Climbers – Par 300
Holly 465 reps – Low Dolly – Par 300

The tournament began in a dead heat with several team posting birdies on the first two holes and things steadily went down from there.  Scores began falling as the course showed its fangs.  Rules were changed mid-workout to encourage teams to complete exercises when it was a foregone conclusion a bogey was the only possible outcome.  Team with highest reps lost a stroke, lowest reps gained a stroke.  The round continued until hole 14 at which time the weather horn blew and PAX happily packed in their “clubs”.

YHC prayed us out

Mumblechatter was generally focused on the structure (or lack thereof) of the workout, the difficulty and pure impossibility of achieving even a par on some of the “holes”.  Reality hit PAX on holes 4 & 5 as it was quickly acknowledged by Alright that 495 monkey humpers may have been a bad idea.  It never improved from there.  Overall grumbling and pain throughout.  Comments about rule changes was thrown about and I believe someone commented that changing the rules so many times was similar to playing golf with an 8 year old.

YHC set out to make Amen Corner (holes 11-13) something extra challenging, but alas, it all sucked!  In fact, PAX continued to whine (YHC maybe most of all) about their calves through Tuesday’s workout.  But, by god, I was going to get a birdie!!

1. Q Source on Wednesdays and Fridays at Chick-Fil-A on Hillcrest and Preston Center, respectively.

The Murph 2nd Quarter Benchmark

DATE: 4/12/19

PAX: Coach K, Special Sauce, F150, Oatmeal, Aaarrrggghhh, Icebox, Ant Man, Sex Panther, Gold Digger
QIC: Alright Alright

AO: Germany Park

Side Straddle Hops

Imperial Storm Troopers


Run 1 mile

20 rounds of: 5 pull-ups, 10 merkins, 15 squats

Run 1 miles


Special Sauce: 30:41

Alright Alright: 31:30 – 32:40 in Q1

Coach K: 33:28 – 34:35 in Q1

Oatmeal: 35:23 – 37:53 in Q1

Icebox: 35:27 – 35:33 in Q1

F150: 35:50 – 39:40 in Q1

Aaarrrggghhh: 38:00

Gold Digger: 40:00

Ant Man: 40:30

Sex Panther: Completed 1/2 of the second mile

Fitness Test Q2 2019

PAX: Oatmeal, Pow Pow, Sex Panther, Icebox, Ant Man, Rump Roast, Sally, Coach K, Thunderlips, Special Sauce
QIC: Alright Alright

AO: Burleson Park

SSH x10

IST x10


Burpees – 100

Calf Raises – 150 (50 regular, 50 toes pointed in, 50 toes pointed out)

Ski Abs – 100 (each time across counts as 1)

Merkins – 100

Deep Squats – 100

LBCs – 200

Carolina Dry Docks – 100

Russian Hammers – 100 (double count)

Nipplers – 100

Jump Squats – 100

Mountain Climbers – 100

Shoulder Raises – 200

Dollies – 200

Hindu Merkins – 100

Squat Jacks – 100

Groiners – 100

Burpees – 100

Burpees – 200

PAX Results:

Coach K: 100 Mountain Climbers – 55 Mountain Climbers in Q1

Special Sauce: 34 Dollies – 71 Dollies in Q1

Oatmeal: 60 Mountain Climbers

Pow Pow:

Icebox: 10 Mountain Climbers

Rump Roast: 83 Nipplers – 30 Nipplers in Q1

Ant Man: 2 Nipplers

Sex Panther: 100 Russian Hammers

Sally: 81 Carolina Dry Docks – 45 Nipplers in Q1

Thunderlips: 30 Mountain Climbers

Alright Alright: 150 Shoulder Raises – 150 Shoulder Raises in Q1

Naked Man Moleskine:

This workout is an absolute beatdown.  It is a mental test from the beginning with the 100 burpee start.  YHC always struggles to keep up a strong pace throughout this hour of pain, and that was what prevented me from improving my score this quarter.  However, a few of our guys made serious improvements from last time.  #tclaps to Coach K, Rump Roast and Sally for showing huge improvement over the last three months.  Let’s all work hard to be better next time.  For some of us that might mean improving mental toughness.

#Tclaps to Pow Pow for making this his first F3 beatdown ever.  They’re not all like this.

Thanks to Oatmeal for EHing Pow Pow and to Ant Man for bringing the speaker and a playlist.  The playlist got much better reviews than Teasip’s at our first Fitness Test.

We’ll roll this back out in three months.  Be preparing.

F3 Mental Health Day

PAX: Aaarrrggghhh, AlrightAlright, Ant Man, Chairman Mao, F150, Ina, Myspace, Oatmeal, Princess Turtlehead, Sex Panther, Special Sauce, splash, Spread, Stingray (FNG) Teasip, Thunderlips
QIC: Coach K
AO: Caruth Park

*Due to anonymity concerns, stories/NMM have been removed

PAX were instructed to arrive 5 minutes early this morning, and all were present right on time. F3 Nation dedicated workouts today to raising awareness about men’s mental health, specifically suicide and depression. Given that most suicides are middle-aged men…it’s something we can’t keep ignoring.

Tha Thang:
Dirty Mc-Cuss Word of Choice

Two full suicides: start short for the first one; start long for the second
Burpees x10
Hand-Release Merkins x12
Burpees x10
E2K x12
Burpees x10
Lunges x12
Burpees x10
Plank Jacks x12

Repeato 2 more times
Burpees x9

All in all – we did 129 burpees, one for every person that will kill themselves today.

As with most of YHC’s Q’s, mumblechatter was restricted by the nature of the beast. splash promised us a burpee-free Q next Wednesday. AlrightAlright broke the tension with a penis joke on the “start short finish long” suicides. Him and Special Sauce tried making a truce on the third round of suicides, which fell through pretty quickly. Spread was the only one man enough to embrace the final 9 burpees without whining. Princess Turtlehead reminded the PAX that I warned everybody it wasn’t an ideal workout for a new guy. Disclaimer was given. Some moans and groans throughout as PAX figured out the pattern, but I definitely wouldn’t rank this amongst the worst of my Qs.

We wrapped up with the naming ceremony of our FNG Craig, now Stingray. He’s from Mississippi, owned a copy of “Flaming Lips” as his first CD, and was a journalist in college. Welcome, sir.

Saturday Sweet Thirteen

DATE: Saturday 3/23

PAX: Jugs, Princess Turtlehead, Schnitzel (Willy Loman from Hilton Head), Ant Man, Special Sauce, Oatmeal, Plus One, Teasip, Splash, Sex Panther, Ma Bell
QIC: Icebox, Sally

AO: Burleson Park

Unfortunately YHC (Sally) forgot the coupons so missed the first 5 minutes.
Guessing the warm-o-rama started with SSH then IST. YHC showed up in time for the jog around the big Burleson loop.

PAX picked numbers to determine bracket seeding. Match-up partners then performed the first exercise: shoulder raises with weight vest weights, to failure.

After the winners of each match-up were determined, all PAX did a big loop.

Winners moved on in the bracket, and losers matched up with other losers. We continued in this fashion for 4 more rounds, completing the following exercises:

Coupon hold arms-length
Jump ropes
Coupon raises
Coupon squats

Ultimately the Sweet Thirteen ended in a battle between Oatmeal and Special Sauce. Special Sauce was declared champion.

All PAX then completed a partner DORA:

  1. Merkins x 100
  2. LBCs x 200
  3. Coupon squats x 200 (modified)

PAX finally gathered on the basketball court for knockout – with a penalty of 5 merkins for a miss before a HIM could shoot his next shot. Those whom were knocked out did burpees until the game was over.

Plus One was ultimately named champion.

Box cutters

Done. Developed trust and faith.

Hit the coffeeteria afterward.
Good mumblechatter, including a call-out of Pepper, whom YHC saw at the grocery store the night before and said “I’m definitely coming in the morning.” Additionally, Ant Man called him and offered to give him a ride, but his call was unanswered.

We rib you because we miss you, Pep.

Apologies for the delayed backblast, gentlemen. If I am remembering something incorrectly let me know.

1. YHC (Sally) will be hosting a tequila tasting / whisky tasting / poker / basketball watching night this Saturday the 6th. All are welcome.

17 & 7

PAX: Oatmeal, Kitty Cat, Coach K, Rump Roast, MySpace, Sally, Ant Man, Ina, Sex Panther, Alright Alright & Plus One
QIC: Plus One

AO: Burleson Park
YHC welcomed the PAX and provided the disclaimer.

Side Straddle Hop x 30 IC
Imperial Storm Trooper x 17 IC
Don Quixote x 7 IC

17 & 7
Partner 1: Run Long Lap
Partner 2: 17 Merkins x 7 Squats (Double Count since Tiger Woods hit 2 into the water in route to a quad)
Complete until each pax has completed 4 Laps

MARY (Part I):
LBC x 17 IC
Freddie Mercury x 17 IC
Reach Through x 17 IC

Mosey to Garage

17 Again
Level 1: 17 Groiners – OYO
Lunge Up 1 Ramp
Level 2: Ranger Merkins x 17 – OYO
Reverse Lunge Up 1 Ramp
Level 3: E2K x 17 (each side) – OYO
Lunge Up 1 Ramp, Reverse Lunge 1 Ramp
Level 4: Elf on a Shelf x 17 – OYO
Bear Crawl Up 1 Ramp, Crab Walk Remaining Ramp to Top of Garage
Level 5: Nipple Scrapers x 17 – OYO

Mosey Down the Stairs

Bench Work
Clay Makers x 7
Irkins x 7
Derkins x 7

Wind Sprints x 2

Mosey back to playground

MARY (Part II)
Uptown Crunch x 17 IC
Body Destroyer

The PAX circled up and YHC took it out in a word of prayer.

Mumble chatter was normal levels but volume grew louder at the sound of nipple scrapers. Although Sally made an official announcement for Chick-fil-a, there is never a question as to the location of coffetria on a Saturday morning post-workout.

You Can Only Get Wet Once

PAX: AlrightAlright, Ant Man, Chairman Mao, F150, FracSac (NOLA), Ina, MySpace (FNG), Oatmeal, Pepper, Podcast, Sally, Special Sauce, Teasip, Thunderlips

QIC: Coach K (aka Batman)
AO: Burleson Park

Mosey to nearby quad for 19 SSH and 20 IST (1920 was the first rivalry matchup between Duke and Carolina).
Mosey to next quad for 10 Irkens and 20 Flutter Kicks
Mosey to track

Tha Thang:
Catch me if you can with 6 merkins (one for each Carolina natty)

Jacob’s Ladder up and down bleachers with 7 squats and 1 burpee (8 miles of Tobacco Road between Duke and Carolina).

Cue torrential downpour during mosey to main quad. Stop in the road for some Tunnel of Love. Sprint to parking garage upon lightning strike. Sprint harder at the onset of some serious hail.

Say what’s poppin’ to AlrightAlright (bear crawled entire workout due to injury) as storm subsided. Collect the six and mosey to park.

8 rounds:
6 pull ups; 6 burpees; 24 mountain climbers; 6 turkish get ups; lap around tennis courts

Mosey to tennis courts for some bear crawl action and wrap up the morning with team sit-ups. Oh and 5 punishment burpees for Podcast running his mouth.

YHC tried coming in with a more positive vibe and energy and tried to keep the pace very fast and upbeat all morning. YHC immediately took the group on a run to a nearby field before starting the warm-up much to the shock of the PAX. We finally made our way to the track and YHC reiterated the disclaimer given the numerous hurdles (literal hurdles) scattered all over the track. A couple PAX were kind enough to move them as they got to them – no PAX, to my knowledge, ran into a hurdle. As we started the Jacob’s Ladder, the drizzle started and YHC became painfully aware that he didn’t check the weather. Sorry not sorry.

The Jacob’s Ladder was pretty quiet bar some jabs here and there. As we started moseying towards the quad, the sky fell out. PAX were trapped in an awkward spot with no shelter, and as YHC put it: “You can only get wet once”. YHC made the bold decision to do a very wet tunnel of love much to the PAX’s chagrin. PAX were very derisive – an attitude that would pervade the rest of the workout. That said, PAX were compliant and we moseyed on. After lightning struck, we started a straight line towards the parking garage. About halfway there, PAX were treated to chunks of hail. Special Sauce led the sprint to the garage while a few others took immediate shelter. Hurt like hell.

We ran into AlrightAlright who was doing his bear crawl workout – he ultimate traveled between 2-2.5 miles (garage through off some metrics). Regardless, very impressive and hats off to him. Like a true West Texas storm, it came and went in a matter of minutes, so the scheduled workout resumed as planned. PAX were led back to the park for a Hero circuit. Several PAX began to accuse YHC of running out of ideas and being uncreative. By the third lap they were sucking wind, so hopefully they came to the realization that uncreative doesn’t always equate to bad. “Back to the basics” is a common phrase in our species for a reason. The actual circuit was made even tougher by the extra water weight PAX had to carry. Except for Special Sauce who treated us to a gun show. Though he should remember that some of us are still single and don’t want to fight for attention.

YHC cut the circuit short, so PAX could get in some hot bear crawling action on the tennis courts followed by group sit ups. It took a while, but the group finally figured out that following YHC’s cadence was the easiest way to get through it. As we were closing out, a certain PAX decided to make a tasteless jab at UNC. PAX were made to do 5 punishment burpees.

All in all, there wasn’t much notable mumblechatter. YHC made several comments about men taking ownership and stepping up to Q themselves in response to a few PAX’s derisive comments. Nevermind the aforementioned circumstances, YHC does expect more men to step up and Q. In 70 some days, we’ve only had 13 Qs. Take an active role, step up, and lead. This group isn’t about sitting on your ass and skating by – we’re here to become better men. One of the easiest ways to do that is taking the reigns for 45 minutes.

Texas Independence Day 18K

On March 2nd, 1836 60 men signed the Texas Declaration of Independence.  These men were true leaders that were moving their community to a place of advantage, and it took courageous disruption to do so.  As F3 men we should always be trying to emulate their leadership, so on March 2nd, 2019 we celebrated it.

19 men completed a grueling 4.75 hour beatdown to celebrate Texas Independence Day.  In that 4.75 hours we ran 6.3 miles, rucked 4.9 miles and did 120 minutes worth of boot camps (that added an additional 4+ miles). 3 other men were able to join us for the first 95 minutes which included 60 minutes of boot camps and 3.5 miles of running.

This is how it went down:

Reverchon Park led by Special Sauce


  • Side Straddle Hops
  • Imperial Storm Troopers
  • Don Quijotes
  • Burpees
  • Squats

Mosey to the benches.

  • Clay Makers x10 each leg
  • Bobby Hurleys x10
  • High Knees x20

Bernie Sanders (Backwards run) up the ramp.

4 Quarters:

  • 1st Quarter: run down the stairs and up the ramp, bear crawl the gap
  • 2nd Quarter: repeato
  • Halftime: Derkins x10, Dips x10, Irkins x10, Big/Little Scissors
  • 3rd Quarter: run down the ramp and up the stairs, lunge walk the gap
  • 4th Quarter: repeato

3 Minutes of Mary to finish.

Run 3.5 miles up the Katy Trail

  • Great opportunity for the PAX to get to know each other, and for significant amounts of mumblechatter.
  • DJ Icebox was the MVP for this portion as his playlist was “on point” as the kids would say.

Glencoe Park led by Teasip

Bear Crawl Mini Ladder:

  • Bear crawl forward touch the line, crawl bear back.  Done for 3 lines of increasing distance each time.
  • Repeato

TEXAS – sprints across the field between sets

  • Tony Hawk Burpees 8, then 1
  • Earhole Merkins 3, then 6
  • XYs 1, then 8
  • ATMs 3 rounds, then 3 rounds (Teasip originally called for 6, but Omaha-ed into something possible)
  • San Antonio Shuffle x5

Quick Break to Rehydrate/Refuel

Run 1.5 miles to Burleson Park

  • Lots of honking as we ran down Mockingbird, either due to Chairman Mao’s good looks or the fact that we were carrying an American flag and a Texas flag.

Burleson Park led by Icebox aka DJ Icebox

  • Halftime stretches – daisy pickers and hillbillies
  • Mony Mony – Back Plank with Dip on “Mony”
  • Yeah – Penguin Crunches with Alabama Prom Dates on “Yeah”
  • Mosey to 4th Level of Parking Deck
  • You Can Do It – Supermans with Merkins on “Do It”
  • Everyday We Lit – Freddie Mercurys with Rugby Sit-Ups on “Lit”

Run 1.3 miles to Caruth Park

  • Your humble correspondent’s legs were starting to really feel the pain at this point.

Caruth Park led by Alright Alright

  • Enough time was left for Icebox to lead one more exercise so he chose River – Side Straddle Hops with Burpees on “River”
  • Slaughter Starter aka 20 burpees
  • Partner up for Wheelbarrows – Wheelbarrow length of the field, 10 merkin toll to switch
  • Bonnie Blairs x20 each leg
  • Wheelbarrow back – same toll as before
  • Jacob’s Ladder – run length of field, Burpees 5 to 1, Monkey Humpers 1 to 5
  • Circle of Pain – Burpees x5, Lunges x10, Burpees x5, Imperial Storm Troopers x15, Burpees x5, Merkins x20, Burpees x5, Plank Jacks x25, Burpees x5
  • Circle of Trust – The goal of this particular beatdown was to celebrate all 60 High Impact Men that signed the Texas Declaration of Independence by completing 60 burpees.
  • Load up on H2O, Gatorade and Snacks

Ruck 4.9 miles from Caruth Park to Reverchon Park

  • #Tclaps to Bandito for running ahead of the group and then running back to us three times.  He added an additional 5 miles.
  • #Tclaps to Teen Wolf who carried 60 pounds and didn’t flinch.
  • This was a great time for some #SecondF. The following are just a few of the topics covered:
    • Management Consulting
    • Life in the Navy, specifically on submarines
    • Which Chewy bars are best
    • Bubba’s – should we stop to get cinnamon rolls or not?
    • Red Dirt Country 101 for FNG Tickler
    • Josh Abbott is kind of a jerk according to PAX with insider knowledge
    • Location of Gonzaga
    • Can Pepper make it back to Reverchon or will he have to stop for a bathroom break?
    • How many calories can we afford to consume at Katy Trail Ice House?
    • FNG Tickler’s upcoming Ultra Marathon

Final Circle of Trust

  • YHC gave a predictably lengthy speech about each of the men challenging themselves to be High Impact Men that are trying to change their community the way the signatories of the Texas Declaration of Independence impacted theirs.


  • FNG Michael Stafford was named Cabana Boy because he owns a pool business
  • FNG Jeff Godon was named Caterpillar initially because of his mustache, but that was changed to Tickler immediately following the workout
  • FNG Robey Clark was named _____ (YHC can not remember what the initial name was), but after much discussion afterwards the PAX decided that we should change his name to Cookie based on the film, Men of Honor.  Both Cookies were Navy divers.
  • FNG Anthony Sexton was named Prime Rib, mostly because Rump Roast EH’ed him.

PAX: Aaarrrggghhh, Ant Man, Oatmeal, Walmart, Boomer, Rump Roast, Pepper, Chairman Mao, Sally, Bandito, Teen Wolf, Cabana Boy, Tickler, Cookie, Prime Rib

QIC: Special Sauce, Teasip, Icebox, Alright Alright