F3 Fort Worth Launch

PAX: Manhole (FNG Dave), Rocket Man, Pipe Dream (FNG Ryan), Snooki (FNG Craig), Rump Roast, Arachnophobia (FNG Austin), Beaver, Round Up, Carnitas (FNG Brian), Chuck E. Cheese (FNG Tony), Griswold, El Oso, Oatmeal, Hercules, Edible Arrangement, Cinco, Fabio (FNG Caleb), Duff (FNG Dan)
QIC: Alright Alright

AO: Bayard Friedman Tennis Center (Fort Worth needs to name this AO)
F3 DISCLAIMER & WELCOME:  Your Humble Correspondent gave the full unabridged version.

Mosey to the Track

Side Straddle Hops x20

Imperial Storm Troopers x15

Overhead Claps x50

Monkey Humpers x5

Burpees x5 On Your Own


Bataan Death March: 3 lines of men.  Run around the track with runner at the back of the line doing 3 burpees then running to the front. Repeato until 2 laps around the track have been completed.

Dora 123: Partner up. Partner 1 runs while Partner 2 performs the exercise.  Flapjack and repeato until the pair has completed the following exercises:

100 Burpees

200 Merkins

300 Lunges – single count

Bear crawl down the stairs to the parking lot.  Modification: Lunge down ramps

Bear crawl across parking lot back to Shovelflags.

Little Baby Crunches x15

Flutter Kicks x10

90 Degree Crunch (Hercules) x10

Low Dolly (Oatmeal) x10

Rosalita x15

Nolan Ryan x7 each side (one for each of his no-hitters)

Naming was fun, as always.  

Manhole – went to Cal Berkeley. The city of Berkeley is removing all gendered language from city code.  Manhole was one of the more ridiculous changes.

Pipe Dream – sells pipes.

Snooki – announced to us that he’s originally from New Jersey.

Arachnophobia – went to University of Richmond, home of the Spiders.

Carnitas – sells pork.

Chuck E. Cheese – works in real estate for CEC (Chuck E. Cheese corporate).

Fabio – we were between that and Rapunzel.  You have to see the locks to believe them.

Duffman – food and beverage distributor.  Duff Beer is Homer Simpson’s beer of choice.  Duffman is their spokesperson.  

YHC didn’t hear too much mumblechatter today.  Could be because the PAX were winded.  Or it could be that they weren’t comfortable harassing the stranger that was leading them through a beatdown.

The field was full of divots and holes from javelin and shot put practice, so we had to be careful and there was some grumbling involved. 

Rump Roast did look at me in the middle of Dora and say “I hate you.”  Which is the response YHC was looking for during this workout.

Round Up was drinking coffee before the workout, and YHC mentioned that we might see that coffee again.  YHC was unable to run it out of him though.

Your Humble Correspondent was grateful that the PAX left Snooki to be YHC’s partner.  That saved YHC a lot of merkins. 

Thank you all for welcoming our crew from Dallas and for all that you’re doing to get F3 Fort Worth started.

1. Workout on Friday at Overton Park at 0530
2. Workout on Saturday at Bayard Friedman Park at 0630

Masters Saturday Beat Down

PAX: Rump Roast, Antman, Coach K, Pow Pow, Rocketman, Baby Ruth (FNG), Sex Panther, Thunderlips, Cabanaboy
QIC: Oatmeal (YHC), Alright Alright

AO: Burleson Park (Parking garage)

Skipped due to workout

YHC and Alright devised A Workout Unlike Any Other in the spirit of the Masters Tournament assigning an exercise to each hole of Augusta National.  With partners, the goal was to complete each exercise x hole yardage in three minutes.  As the timer expired score was taken for each “hole”.  To achieve reps x yardage on each hole resulted in a birdie. A score of par was recorded as noted below.  Anything less was considered a bogey.  No sand traps, water hazards or penalty shots!  Holes were as follows:

Tea Olive 445 reps (yards) –  SSH – Par 300

Pink Dogwood 400 reps – IST – Par 400

Flowering Peach 350 reps – Flutter Kicks – Par 300
Flowering Crab Apple: 240 reps – Crab Cakes – Par 200
Magnolia: 495 reps – Monkey Humpers – Par 300
Juniper 180 reps – Jumping Spiders – Par 180
Pampas 450 reps – Plank Jacks – Par 300
Yellow Jasmine 570 reps – Squats – Par 400
Carolina Cherry 460 reps – Carolina Dry Docks – Par 300
Camelia 495 reps – Calf Raises – Par 300
White Dogwood 505 reps – WWI SitUps – Par 300
Golden Bell: 155 reps – Burpees – Par 155
Azalea 510 reps – Alabama Prom Dates Par 400
Chinese Fir 440 reps – Seal Jacks – Par 300
Firethorn 530 reps – Overhead Claps – Par 400
Redbud 170 reps – Groiners – Par 170
Nandina 440 reps – Mountain Climbers – Par 300
Holly 465 reps – Low Dolly – Par 300

The tournament began in a dead heat with several team posting birdies on the first two holes and things steadily went down from there.  Scores began falling as the course showed its fangs.  Rules were changed mid-workout to encourage teams to complete exercises when it was a foregone conclusion a bogey was the only possible outcome.  Team with highest reps lost a stroke, lowest reps gained a stroke.  The round continued until hole 14 at which time the weather horn blew and PAX happily packed in their “clubs”.

YHC prayed us out

Mumblechatter was generally focused on the structure (or lack thereof) of the workout, the difficulty and pure impossibility of achieving even a par on some of the “holes”.  Reality hit PAX on holes 4 & 5 as it was quickly acknowledged by Alright that 495 monkey humpers may have been a bad idea.  It never improved from there.  Overall grumbling and pain throughout.  Comments about rule changes was thrown about and I believe someone commented that changing the rules so many times was similar to playing golf with an 8 year old.

YHC set out to make Amen Corner (holes 11-13) something extra challenging, but alas, it all sucked!  In fact, PAX continued to whine (YHC maybe most of all) about their calves through Tuesday’s workout.  But, by god, I was going to get a birdie!!

1. Q Source on Wednesdays and Fridays at Chick-Fil-A on Hillcrest and Preston Center, respectively.

A(n almost) forgotten MRM

PAX: Coach K, Icebox, Rocket Man, Ina, AlrightAlright, (Sally chose doubletime)
QIC: Oatmeal

AO: Flagpole Hill

2.84 mi ruck through beautiful Lake Highlands.

YHC prayed us out

YHC admits he’s a slacker and is just posting the back blast a month late!  There was mumble chatter as always on our rucks, about what we discussed is lost in the ether or trapped in much younger minds than mine (Coach K’s apparently since he provided a listing of PAX that attended).

Spring Training

PAX: Aaarrrggghhh, Mile High, Pepper, Rocket Man, RockyTop (from F3 Houston), Rump Roast, Sally, Special Sauce
QIC: DJ Icebox and Teasip

AO: Glencoe #glencoefasho

SSH x 25 (for the 25 Opening Day Roster spots)

IST x 13 (for the 13ish position players most teams carry)

Daisy pickers x 12 (for all the Little Leaguers who would rather be picking grass than playing OF)

Hillbillies x 15

Mosey to the football field for partner CUBS (one partner does exercise while the other runs to the other goal post and back, then flapjack until you finish the reps).

Carolina Dry Docks x 108

Upright Row x 200

Boxcutter x 300 (“Pitching” change to 275)

Seal Jacks x 400 (“Pitching” change to 275)

The Co-Q’s then attempted to introduce the classic spring training game of pepper/hotbox to the PAX. Due to the low lighting and lack of baseball knowledge/lack of Little League experience of the PAX, this was quite the failure, much like the Rangers seasons recently. This did allow YHC to do his partner STROS (same format as CUBS, but cut the running in half)

Squats – 50

T Merkins – 75

Reverse Crunch – 100

OH Claps – 125

Side Straddle Hops – 150

This brought us to 6:15 when YHC prayed us out.

The weather did not feel very Spring Training-y, with a solid mid to high 30’s throughout the workout. Thanks to pressure from YHC’s co-Q, YHC braved the elements to support his Astros with his very thin short sleeve shirt. Not much mumblechatter about the upcoming baseball season, though YHC did correctly call Machado to the Padres when Sally asked. YHC must assume this is because most of the PAX are Rangers fans who will be in for a long season getting demolished by the Blastros. Or the PAX isn’t much for baseball, as that was apparent at the rather terrible attempt at playing Pepper. There may need to be a special training session for this classic game before it is brought back out for a Saturday beatdown. A welcome back to Pepper and there was some discussion amongst the PAX about he showed up for this workout when Alright Alright was not present. Any idea on how often that has happened?

1. Make sure you are inputting your RRR miles
2. Texas Independence Day 18K (TID 18K) March 2nd

Clash of the Carolinas

Starting Lineups:
Wake Forest: Alright Alright, Ina, Sally, Rump Roast
Carolina: Coach K, Teasip, Ant Man, Walmart, Rocket Man

AO: Burleson (Neutral Site)
Final Score: Wake 58; Carolina 57.75

Pre-Game Warm Ups:
SSH x 31
IST x 28
(Score of the first matchup between the schools in 1910)
Squats x 23 (Michael Jordan)
OHD Claps x 21 (Tim Duncan)

Mosey to top of SMU Garage for the First Half

Four Corners (Carolina) vs 2×3 Zone (Wake) Offense
Teams do 2 burpees with 3 hand-release merkins at the bottom of each at all four corners of the garage (bear crawling the ramps). One PAX from each team is running down the garage and up the stairs then switch off. 1 point is awarded for every lap of four corners and every lap to the bottom of the garage. Repeato for 20 minutes.

Halftime Score: Wake 25; Carolina 27.75

Mosey to main quad for Second Half

UNCWF. PAX pair up within teams for UNCWF (Dora).
1) Uptown Crunch 2) Nipple Merkins 3) Carolina Drydocks 4) Wide Stance Squats 5) Forward Lunges. PAX complete 100 reps of each until moving onto the next exercise. 1 point is awarded for every lap around the fountain and every exercise completed.

Final Score: Wake 58; Carolina 57.75

Short on time, we unfortunately didn’t get the chance to honor Stuart Scott (raised in Winston-Salem; went to Carolina) with Booyah merkins.

PAX arrived on a very brisk Saturday morning unbeknownst to the competition that lie ahead between arguably the two most competitive people in F3 Dallas. The most notable thing was seeing Ant Man arrive almost 10 minutes early to the beatdown. That was shortly followed by an out-of-context “how deep did you go last night”, which was an interesting start to the morning.

During the warm-ups we each started picking teams and PAX were thrown off thinking Alright Alright and myself were simply splitting the beatdown not running a competition. Co-Qs were well-prepared except when it came to planning who’d be timing the events, so there was some derision right from the start. The Co-Qs led the count in cadence together (truly in sync as Carolinians are) making for a very tasteful and coordinated warm-up.

The Qs overestimated PAX IQ when explaining the Four Corners drill as it took about 5 minutes to get PAX on board. The situation wasn’t helped by certain PAX (who knew what was going on) sabotaging the explanation. Hindsight, they were probably intentionally delaying the inevitable because it was 20 minutes of pain (though not the worse the Qs have ever done). Mumblechatter was light except when some conflicts arose on switching off partners. Ina and Ant Man had to run a bit further before we changed the rules, but it evened out between the teams. We also learned after 20 minutes that numbers are hard as tallying the total scores was, for lack of a better word, a minor ordeal bringing out the crankappotamus. Halftime score had Carolina up by almost 3 points.

We moseyed to the quad for the second half – well, second 12 minutes because of time constraints. Wake spent three minutes planning. Carolina started yelling at them for stalling, but apparently the planning paid off. Again, little mumblechatter during the UNCWF. People’s competitive spirits revealed themselves when the last PAX had to sprint the final straightaway with a 10 second countdown. Tallying up the scores was a lot less painful this time and unfortunate for team Carolina who lost be a mere .25 points. Fortunately, they won by 38 in the real matchup, which almost made up for the moral defeat to Alright Alright.

PAX walked back to Burleson to pray it out and audibled to Chick-Fil-A. YHC couldn’t attend because he had to head off to the office, so I can’t comment on the mumblechatter.

1. Run Ranger Run – log your miles
2. Texas Independence Day 18K

Candy Cane Returns

PAX: Ina, Alright Alright, Icebox, Oatmeal, Gambler, Special Sauce, Rump Roast, Splash, Rocket Man, Coach K, Spread, Sally, Thunderlips (FNG)

QIC: Candy Cane

AO: Caruth Park – The OG AO

Tha Thang:


Burpee Pyramid 1 to 10 back to 1

Merkins, Lunges, Planks, Suicides, more of the same

Caruth 1/09


PAX: Alright Alright, Chairman Mao, Coach K, F150, Gambler, Icebox, Ina, Oatmeal, Rocket Man, Rump Roast, Special Sauce and Spread

QIC: Aaarrrggghhh

AO: Caruth Park


Done said it


SSH, IS, Windmill, Side Lunges, Slow Squats, Slow Merkins, Freddy Mercury uphill/downhill


Mosey to soft top for a Caruth 3x3x3:  3 grown a** man pull ups, lunge across the bridge, 3 burpees and repeat 3 times

Dirty McDeuce: 12 reps of dips, pull up under bench thing single count, alternating step-ups, dirkins single count, run around the soft top park and repeat 3 times. Mosey to tennis courts

4 CORNERS (kind of): 10 hand release merkins, lunge to next corner, first exercise plus 20 gorilla squats, bear crawl to next corner, first two exercises plus 30 flutter kicks, reverse lunge to next corner, first three exercises plus 40 arms raises.

Lined up for one round of burpee dans (four lunges followed by a burpee) across both courts and back


Mosey to soft top: American Hammer x 12, rugby sit-ups x 12, reverse crunches x 12, about 8 seconds of six inches


We need to continue on working on improving ourselves and doing things right. This can be doing pull-ups like a grown a** man, counting slow on exercises, being better husbands, being a better father or working on whatever goals you might have.


Yeah yeah yeah, still continuing bench mark week. Wasn’t planning on doing a repeat of Teasip’s Q at Glencoe, but thought the Caruth guys needed a reminder of a standard workout. This is why we always need guys to sign up to Q to keep things different, this is one of many reasons I enjoy coming to F3 beat downs.


Without a formal vote, we can assume F3 Happy Hour will be at Ozona’s this Friday (1/11) at whatever time you can get there. Sign up for Run Ranger Run, two spots available. Get a $20 raffle ticket from Sally for his upcoming mission. Put March 2nd down of our ruck event.